Thoughts On Family

Its too humid to sleep.

My dog on the other hand disagrees strongly, and is now loudly snoring.

His snoring mocks me.

At first I tried to watch TV.

I watched the New York City Macy's Fourth of July Celebration on television, but It only made me wish I lived in a place like that. I have always wanted to move to a big city... not necessarily NYC, but someplace. I don't know why I've decided to go to school in an extremely small town, but its too late for that regret now.

I'm sure I'll be fine. I'll just have to learn how to get by with less stoplights. Alot less actually. Try one.

and so I turn to my blog.

Confession: I have never been much of a patriot. I refuse to wear the flag colors in any patriotic fashion, and was even been mistaken as a communist in my government class in 11th grade. Hense the beloved nickname "Sondravich". I get pissed if I have to sing patriotic songs in church. We have elected a president I really don't like and we are in a war that I don't like even more. But I suppose on some level, I do have a love for my country and respect its leaders. So yeah. Happy Fourth of July.

This independence day was very strange. Normally my family and I go up to my uncle's house, celebrate my grandpa's birthday (yes, more people with 4th of july birthdays), eat cake and watch fireworks.

But my grandparents are much too sick to make it up to New York this year, so we had to celebrate without them. I just wasn't the same. We all know what remains unsaid- They don't have much time left on this earth.

I've watched my dad carefully with how he's dealing with all of this. First he was kind of in denile, and seemed very frustrated whenever he would talk to them on the phone.

Its strange, my dad has this way of almost talking down to people when he's frustrated with them. I know because he does it all of the time to me when he's upset. It was as if he had become the parent to his parents.

Now he doesn't do that as much, and you can tell his conversations are just sadder.

Ironically enough though, we still had cake at my uncle's house because my mom is baking the cake for my cousin's wedding, so we had to be the guinea pigs and try it out.

Relatives are relatives. I had to bite my toungue a few times at a few comments made, but such is life.

I always seem to learn a little bit more about my family every time I have to visit uncles and aunts and such. I learn perhaps a little why so and so is this way. Or I find that I continually have less and less common ground with someone else.

But family is family. Sometimes I have to remind myself that family is precious and that regardless of whatever, these people truly love me, and I love them.

So here's to a bittersweet independence day.

Until Later,

Sondra