Hair: A Story Part II

Right.

Um...yes, ah...hullo.

I'm Sondra's hair. Sondra has decided to take a uh...small holliday if you will, and now I'm in charge.

We can't have her cutting me off now can we? If she did, who would take over the world, you know? Right-o.

Things are going quite splendidly. I don't know why I didn't take over before. There is so much to do as a power-crazed mop of hair.

First things first, I decided to have a little fun with my new found freedom. I put on one of Sondra's Beatles CD's and started to dance.



Picture yourself in boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalde skies
Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly,
A girl with kaleidoscope eyes!

Jolly good fun.


After that I finally decided to get down to business.



Notice my lovely map of Poland. I coloured it myself. I also love to plot global domination on shag rugs.

Now back to the most invadable country in the world.



My telephone conversation went something like this:

"Hullo? Republic of Poland? This is a very omnipotent mop of hair speaking. I intend to invade your country a little after noon tomorrow, just after tea time. May I please speak to President Aleksander Kwasniewski, please?"

...irritating elevator music used when put on hold...

"Hullo Mr. President? Yes, the omnipotent mop of hair. I have a few demands from you. I know you guys are all into appeasement and all. First off, I demand a life supply of brushes, combs and other hairproducts. I love the smell of hairspray in the morning.

Secondly, I demand that all barbers be punished for their crimes against hair-manity.

You heard me.

And by using a combination of propaganda, mind control, torcher and flat out force, I plan on building an army of other menacing mops of hair, AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!"

BUAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHA!

Good Show.

Until Later,

The Omnipotent Mop Of Hair