I graduated yesterday. I donned my cap and gown, found my place in a alphabetized class, walked across the stage and got my diploma.
Evan (our class president) gave what I thought was a very brave speech. He said that from his own personal experience, the only way to a truly meaningful life was through God.
Family came also. Although, only partialy for my graduation. The other part was my Grandparent's 50th anniversary.
It was so crazy seeing aunts and uncles I haven't seen in a long time, some more than two years. My Uncle Jim made me a margarita and I showed Grandma and Uncle Dave my pictures from France. Can you believe Uncle Dave and myself are the only ones in our entire family who loved "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? Its such a fabulous movie, how can you not love it?!
It was lovely. Oh, and my Grandpa makes the best fscking guacamole ever.
I can truly tell that they are very proud of me. 'Proud of me' is never a word I thought my parents felt about me academically. Although I'm intelligent enough to get good grades, a combination of ADD, disorganization and my own lazyness prevent me from getting an average above the low 80's. Needless to say it has been a point of infinite frustration for my parents because they see my potential, but its never manifested in grades.
But they truly are proud. I can't believe it, and they seem to be showering me with gifts. A skirt and sweater for graduation. My mom sewed me a bag to keep my knitting needles and grandma made me an entire quilt for college! Now if thats not enough, my parents are taking me to go see "As you like it" in Stratford because
a) Barenaked Ladies are doing the music for it (snicker all you like, I still have my oh so embarassing crush on Steven Page's voice)
b) Because its set in the 60's in a warhol-esque way and
c) Because Shakespeare is the man.
All of this makes me feel guilty, that I know I could have tried harder, I could have made better decisions to get better grades, and then maybe I'd feel I deserved any of this.
I just found the antidote for Senioritis a bit too late.
Until Later,
Sondra
3 comments:
I just graduated myself, and for some reason, I didnt see it as a big deal.
Whether it was just because I felt i was smart enough to graduate and thus it wasn't a big accomplishment, or because the previous semester was so insanely hard that i used up all my feelings of accomplishment after that, I'm not sure.
The point is that it did garner me a whack of gifts, the adoration of a lot of relatives, and a good excuse to party.
I too just finally graduated (although from University). I spent a long long time there, and felt a sense of fear and gladness. Fear becuase "WHat the hell do i do with my life NOW?", and gladness because "I'm finally done"
Aw, its nice to know that my feelings of ambiguity will keep me company all through University, and even life.
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