*sigh*

"The more I see of the world, the less inclined I am to think well of it."

I know I haven't updated in a while, life has a nasty habit of keeping me too busy to update. Or if I did have time, I couldn't think of anything to write.

I'm finding myself truly frustrated with people. People who I don't think love themselves much and so decide to go drink too much.

It's not fair, and it makes me sad. Truly intelligent, loving, fun people who think their better off forgetting their nights.

It's not that I'm against drinking. I might come off that way, but I don't think I am. It's when people start to abuse it. When I expect that 3 a.m. phone call or visit. That's when I get upset.

I hate... when I can't fix things. When I know that all I can do is listen. That I can't make things better right away.

I hate it when I feel so goddamned obligated sometimes. That I have to try and help, that I can't just stand by and watch.

The worst problems are the ones you experience indirectly. You get to see exactly what is going on and you can't do one goddamned thing about it.

Right now I seriously doubt I'll ever feel as happy here as I did back home with friends. I know thats a lie, but it sure feels true.

There should be a word for the emotion that is: angry/sad/disapointed/used/frustrated/amused/irritated/resentful/hopeless/powerless.


I just realized how drastically different things were a little more than three months ago. Insanely different. I should get back to that. When the little things in life were more important.

Until Later,

Sondra